When the world changed for me on 16 September 2010, it was a path carved out by modern medical science. The science I experienced and will forever bear scars from was only made possible by political realities. In June of 2010 I had turned 24; if not for the Affordable Healthcare Act, I would not have had the bariatric surgery. There are tough ( Read more... )

I've long thought of the analogous terms that an individual is a nationstate. Right now, I am experiencing some foreign policy setbacks. Or, to take away the intellectual veneer: AA drama. It sounds so much prettier with an intellectual cover; it is easier to detach and view as a game. In fact, that's part of my overall detachment issues: I view ( Read more... )

When trauma happens, when crisis happens, it can freeze us. In terms of myself, alcoholism and obesity trapped me as a 17 year old and now I am 26 ( Read more... )

Today is a better day. Yesterday was good, too. Today has been filled with racing thoughts, that if not accompanied by last week's reckless negativity or the week prior's depression I would readily (and perhaps happily) dismiss as ADD. The process of self-awareness is a bit odd; in these moments of optimism it feels endless ( Read more... )

As I continue to crest toward the end of a period of self-induced craziness, I'm not sure whta to say. My words, my actions, continue to yield trouble which seems to increase exponentially when I am not mindful of either ( Read more... )

karaoke continues to be a large part of my life. tonight, if it does come to pass, will be karaoke #13, which means that for the past 13 thursdays I've karaoked. of course, this aspect of life is so large, it has seeped into other days. singing is still a very pleasurable activity, but it is losing some of its lustre. music is crucial; music is ( Read more... )

Last night was Alicia's last night in Modesto until the Holiday season. It was sad to say bye, but there is the satisfaction in knowing she is back in the country, same time zone, and ready to move on to the next phase in her life. Though she extended her 24 month Peace Corps adventure for a third year, she ultimately terminated early in order to ( Read more... )

I'm amazed that one simple jog could create such a feeling of well-being and positiveness. I was almost downright ecstatic. Apparently, for me, it does not take much to achieve that "runner's high." Swimming was the wonderful catalyst to good health I had hoped it would be. As on the 16th it'll be 2 years since gastric, I'm particularly worried ( Read more... )

Lately I've been dealing with, well, the aging process. Though I'm at my lowest adult weight, I'm not necessarily at my healthiest. In fact, the only time I may have been physically health post-puberty was that brief moment in 2002-03, when I could do hundreds of jumping jacks and over 100 push-ups per work out ( Read more... )

today, like most days recently, begins with sighs of defeat. I opted for an ice cream cone and making chai in the more conventional sense -- with milk and sweetener -- instead of going to church. I did wake up in time, and quite easily, but my body moved me slowly, away from typical routines ( Read more... )